For a couple of reasons, we're not heading abroad on our family holiday this year. For one, we've just bought a house (skinto!) and for another, I've done the travelling-with-baby-don't-forget-the-steriliser-oh-crap-there's-water-coming-out-of-his-bum thing before. And it wasn't pretty - I'm just not laid back enough.
So we're throwing the kids in the back of the car and heading on a staycation. Now, whilst I'm pretty certain the potential lack of steriliser on a staycation won't end in bum explosions (there's a Tesco everywhere should we need it, right?), I'm pretty certain the long journey in the car won't be an easy one. With cries of 'I need a wee!' followed by the need for a wee making itself apparent seconds later, constant yells of 'are we there yet!?' and a refluxy baby throwing up seemingly weeks of food in one go, I need a plan. So, here it is, my plan turned into tips to make sure this road trip is as smooth as a Florida highway (I'm told).
Before we go:
1. Charge iPad - an absolute priority for our young man to get the trip off to a good start. We had a melt down last time I forgot, and the in car lighter charger thingy was just not up to the job.

3. Make sure everything fits - in the car and re-pack/buy a roof box if necessary to avoid morning-of-road-trip-meltdowns from grown ups, copying-parents-tantrums from children, and bawling-at-the-noise-screams from babies.
4. Plan lunch - Either pack a lunch - no smeggy station sandwiches for me thank you - or look up country pubs along your journey for lunch if you want to get your holiday off on the right foot.
5. Pack - a travel potty for side of the road emergencies and a plastic bucket - not for the seaside destination, but for voms - see points 6 and 7.
On the way
6. Buy snacks - yes, buy. I plan to bribe the eldest with the promise of sweet stops should he not ask the dreaded 'are we there yet' question every three minutes. I know this will work; he's a sucker for sweets.

7. Make an activity bag - for when the iPad/sweet combo has produced a projectile vom down the back of my seat, I aim to get this bad boy out for some peace. This blog post from Shannonagains on an airplane activity bag could just be the ticket. I plan to invest in one of those laptop trays with the bean bag underneath for him to lean on to colour in etc. Until he throws the crayons out the window...
8. Bribe the kids - good behaviour on the way can be bought with promises of going to the Pirates Party when you get there. Also see point 6.
9. Make a playlist - songs to sing along to can make the journey fly. Hours of fun (for me). Probably all Frozen and Cbeebies themed to clear a path in the traffic should we get stuck on the M6. Et Voila. Inbetween every track ask if a wee wee is needed. Tedious. Yes. Necessary. Yes. Who wants to be sponging pee out of car seat foam on holiday anyways?

Safe travels my friends. With all this in mind, and humour aside, I beg of you to check your car before setting off on a long journey. You wouldn't get on a plane that hadn't been checked for safety now, would you?
Just a thought.
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